Coping With Grief During the Holidays.
Finding Comfort After Loss.
The holiday season that is often marked by family gatherings, celebrations, traditions, and expectations of joy can be a particularly difficult time for anyone experiencing loss. What many see as a season of warmth and togetherness can become a time of painful reminders, intense feelings of absence, and resurfaced sorrow. For those grieving, the holidays may trigger memories, nostalgia, and emotional turbulence that challenge even the strongest coping mechanisms.
That’s why this December, we want to offer a compassionate, practical guide to support anyone who is grieving. Whether you’ve recently lost a loved one or have carried that loss for years, this blog aims to provide comfort, understanding, and tools for navigating grief when the world seems to be celebrating
National Grief Awareness Week: A Moment to Pause and Reflect
Every year during the first week of December, communities across the United States acknowledge National Grief Awareness Week (NGAW). This event, initiated by Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), aims to reduce the stigma around grief, normalize conversations about loss, and connect people with supportive resources.
National Grief Awareness Week serves as a reminder that no one should navigate grief alone and encourages individuals, families, and communities to recognize that grief is a natural human experience and to create space for honest conversations about loss. Loss affects people in deeply personal ways, and many feel pressure to hide their pain or “be strong.” This week invites us to slow down, reflect, and offer compassion to ourselves and others. For individuals coping with loss, NGAW can provide validation that grief is expected, understandable, and worthy of support.
Why the Holidays Can Be Especially Difficult for Grief.
Grief can feel overwhelming at any time of year, but the holiday season often amplifies emotions. December brings together traditions, rituals, cultural expectations, and memories that can intensify feelings of sadness, loneliness, or longing. Even when loss occurred years earlier, holiday-related reminders tend to stir emotions that people believed had softened.
Understanding why holidays can heighten grief is an important step in approaching the season with realistic expectations, compassion, and appropriate support.
1. Nostalgia and Emotional Reminders
Holiday rituals are powerful. Songs, decorations, familiar meals, scented candles, or even winter weather can evoke memories of loved ones who are no longer present. An empty chair at the dinner table or a missing name on a holiday card list can feel incredibly painful. These reminders can reopen grief wounds, even if the loss occurred months or years ago. People may find themselves unexpectedly emotional, even if they have been coping relatively well.
2. Cultural and Social Pressure to Feel Joyful
Societal expectations during the holidays often center around joy, gratitude, and celebration. Advertisements and social media highlight cheerful gatherings, cozy family moments, and festive activities. For someone grieving, these expectations can feel unrealistic and invalidating. The disconnect between internal emotional pain and external holiday cheer can intensify feelings of loneliness or alienation.
3. Increased Isolation and Comparison
Although the holidays are portrayed as a time of togetherness, many individuals who are grieving may withdraw or feel isolated. People who have experienced significant losses sometimes feel disconnected within group settings or struggle to allow themselves to participate fully. Social media posts of smiling families and festive events can create a painful contrast, making people worry that they are the only ones hurting.
4. Reawakening of Grief Cycles
Grief is not linear. It shifts, softens, intensifies, and resurges in cycles over time. The holidays can trigger deeper emotional waves, even after a period of stability. For some people, the second or third holiday after a loss can feel more difficult than the first. This emotional unpredictability can leave individuals feeling frustrated, confused, or discouraged.
5. Mixed Emotions and Emotional Fatigue
Holidays often bring complex emotional blends. Many people feel warmth and connection alongside sorrow and grief. These mixed emotions can be exhausting because they require constant emotional navigation. Trying to hide sadness or maintain a cheerful façade can increase emotional fatigue and internal conflict.
Recognizing these challenges is an important first step. People deserve support during this emotionally loaded season, and grief should be met with understanding rather than pressure to "move on."
Practical Coping Skills for Grieving During the Holidays
Managing grief during the holiday season requires compassion, planning, and permission to honor your feelings. Below are practical strategies designed to support emotional well-being and help individuals engage with the season on their own terms.
1. Allow Yourself to Feel and Give Grief Its Space
Many people place unrealistic expectations on themselves, believing they should “get over” their grief or maintain a positive attitude during the holidays. Grief does not follow a predictable schedule. It is normal to experience a wide range of emotions such as sadness, anger, numbness, longing, or even moments of joy.
Allow yourself to:
Cry if you need to.
Express feelings through journaling, drawing, or creative writing.
Sit quietly with difficult emotions rather than pushing them away.
Say no to holiday invitations or traditions that feel too heavy.
Your grief does not need to be justified. You are allowed to feel what you feel.
2. Honor the Memory of Your Loved One
Rituals can help connect love to loss and offer a sense of meaning during difficult times. Finding personal ways to honor your loved one can transform grief from silent suffering into a symbolic expression of connection.
Consider:
Lighting a candle in their memory.
Placing a special ornament on the tree.
Cooking their favorite meal.
Writing a letter to express thoughts, regrets, gratitude, or memories.
Creating a memory box or photo album that captures cherished moments.
Acknowledging your loved one does not deepen grief; instead, it helps channel love and remembrance.
3. Plan Ahead and Build Flexibility Into Your Holiday Season
Holidays often become overwhelming when routine activities collide with emotional strain. Planning ahead allows you to protect your energy and set healthy expectations.
Helpful planning steps include:
Reviewing invitations and deciding what feels manageable.
Setting boundaries with friends, family, and colleagues.
Scheduling breaks, rest time, and quiet moments.
Identifying potential emotional triggers and preparing supportive responses.
Finding balance between maintaining traditions and modifying them to reflect your current emotional needs.
Create space for flexibility. Give yourself the freedom to change your mind, leave events early, or rest if emotions become too intense.
4. Lean on Support and Share How You Are Feeling
You do not have to grieve alone. Support can come from different connections depending on comfort level and availability.
Supportive options include:
Talking with trusted friends or family members who can offer empathy and presence.
Joining grief support groups, either in person or online, where others understand the emotional landscape of loss.
Seeing a therapist who specializes in grief, complicated grief, or trauma.
Talking about your feelings does not burden others. It invites them into your emotional world so they can support you compassionately.
5. Prioritize Self-Care for Emotional, Physical, and Spiritual Health
Grief consumes mental, emotional, and physical energy. Taking care of your body and mind ensures you have the strength to cope with waves of emotion.
Effective self-care practices include:
Maintaining regular sleep rhythms.
Eating nourishing meals and staying hydrated.
Incorporating gentle movement such as walking or stretching.
Practicing grounding techniques like deep breathing, mindfulness, or sensory-based grounding.
Engaging in spiritual practices such as prayer, meditation, or reflection if they feel meaningful to you.
Self-care is not selfish. It is necessary for emotional healing.
Final Thoughts: Peace During the Holidays
National Grief Awareness Week provides a compassionate opportunity to acknowledge the emotional impact of grief, especially during the holiday season. December often heightens memories, expectations, and emotional triggers, making grief more pronounced. Understanding these challenges can help individuals approach the season with gentleness and realistic expectations.
Grief is an expression of love. It is not a sign of weakness or a reflection of how well a person is “coping.” Everyone experiences grief uniquely, and there is no correct timeline for healing. What matters most is creating space for emotion, finding meaningful ways to honor loved ones, leaning on support systems, and prioritizing emotional and physical well-being.
You Do Not Have to Grieve Alone.
Grief may be part of life, but you do not have to navigate it alone. If you are struggling with grief, especially during the holiday season, therapy can provide a safe and supportive space to process your emotions. As a licensed mental health provider, I help individuals navigate grief, loss, emotional overwhelm, and life transitions with compassion and evidence-based care.
Whether you are experiencing fresh loss, long-standing grief, or seasonal emotional triggers, support is available.
Reach out today to schedule an appointment or learn more about therapy services.
Your healing matters, and you are not alone.
Further Reading and Resources
For Adolescents & Teens:
Healing Your Grieving Heart for Teens: 100 Practical Ideas by Alan Wolfelt
A teen-friendly workbook offering 100 age-appropriate exercises and compassionate guidance to help adolescents express grief, mourn naturally, and begin healing at their own pace.
What Am I Suppose To Do NOW?!?: Coping with Teen Grief by Juanita Walters
A supportive guide designed to help teenagers navigating loss find emotional validation, healthy coping strategies, and hope during one of life’s most vulnerable transitions.
For Adults:
Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief Workbook by David Kessler
A guide inspired by the idea that after navigating the pain of loss, there is a “sixth stage” of grief centered on rebuilding meaning and hope in life even after a profound loss.
A raw, no-frills workbook that invites you to confront grief head-on with unfiltered reflections, tough journal prompts, and personalized coping tools rather than empty condolences.
For Older Adults:
Drawing Lessons by Patricia Sands
Follows a woman who, after a painful loss, embarks on a transformative art retreat in the south of France where she rediscovers creativity, resilience, and a renewed sense of self.
Chicken Soup for the Soul: Older & Wiser: Stories of Inspiration, Humor, and Wisdom about Life at a Certain Age by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen
This uplifting collection shares inspiring, humorous, and heartfelt stories from older adults reflecting on life, aging, wisdom, and the meaningful lessons learned along the way.
Disclaimer: The suggestions provided above are solely for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a healthcare provider for personalized support.s. Neither I nor this platform has any financial or other affiliation with the authors, publishers, or distributors of these materials. Please choose resources that best suit your unique needs and preferences. The links to external websites that are not maintained or controlled by ACM, LLC. These links are provided for informational purposes only and do not constitute an endorsement or guarantee of the content, accuracy, or safety of the linked websites. By clicking on any external link, you acknowledge and agree that ACM, LLC is not responsible for the privacy practices, security, or content of external sites. We encourage you to review the terms, conditions, and privacy policies of any third-party websites you visit.
Join the Conversation!
What meaningful traditions have you created to honor a loved one who has passed away? We welcome you to share your ideas, experiences, or even a word of encouragement so others can feel less alone in their own grief journey. Sometimes small expressions of connection help lighten the weight of grief.
